Conversations with a Puppy

PSSSST! I've got a secret...

For my first blog post, I thought I’d let all the readers in on a little secret. So here it is - the noteworthy, intellectual, and perhaps a little crazy conversations I have with my big brother Merit. Enjoy!

Triumph: The humans keep saying I have an “important” job to do. Merit, do you know what “important” means?

Merit: Yes, I do. What do you think it means?

Triumph: Um, I think it means when you have to get out of the house right away and go potty.

Merit: You’re right, that is an important job.

Triumph: Merit, you should come to school with me forever.

Merit: I can’t go to school with you, Triumph. I’m too big now. I have to go to work.

Triumph: Just don’t eat your dinner and then you will shrink and then you can go to school again.

Merit: Triumph, why is there a mouse in my dog dish?

Triumph: I don’t know, maybe he’s hungry.

Merit: Did you catch him and put him in my dish?

Triumph: Not sure…

Merit: What do you mean not sure?

Triumph: He doesn’t have a head. I only catch the ones with heads.

Merit: Are there any ones with heads in the house?

Triumph: Not recently… Although, I did see a head without a body in your crate…

Merit: What did you learn at training class tonight?

Triumph: The flowers are all gone, the animals have all disappeared and snow is falling; it’s now wintertime.

Merit: Wow, that has nothing to do with dog training.

Triumph: I don’t make the curriculum, Merit. I just listen and follow along.

Triumph: Some of my friends are yellow and some are black.

Merit: Yes, you’re right.

Triumph: And some are brown. The brown ones are the best! But I like the yellow ones too, even if they're a little red. I like everyone really.

Merit: ??

Triumph: I’m black, but I shouldn't feel bad about it, one day I’ll be brown, just like you.

Merit: ??

Triumph: But first I need to jump in the mud, and then find some rabbit poop to roll in…

Merit: What happened to all the toys I had?

Triumph: Which ones?

Merit: All of them. There’s only one left in the box.

Triumph: If there’s only one left then you’re not missing all of them.

Merit: Don’t be smart with me Try!

Triumph: OK I’ll be smart with myself then, but I think you could use my help. This is basic math.

Merit: You’re a real funny girl.

Triumph: I’m smart and funny? Wow, I must take after you.

Merit: How sweet. Now go find my toys.

Triumph: All of them???

'Birth Order'

We often compare how raising puppies is like raising your children. Just like birth order effected how you raised your children, experience also effects puppy raising. Think about that first puppy (or baby). Every day was a special celebration. You were excited about everything and left nothing to chance. That second puppy (or baby) was also a great joy, yet in many ways a very different experience. And then the third, fourth, fifth... puppy (or baby) and well…let’s just see if our experiences are anything like yours.

FYI: This is intended as a joke. We love all of our puppies and work our hardest to help each achieve their full potential.

Lukas - 15th Puppy

Effects on Set-Up:

1^st Puppy: You had the crate, exercise pen and toy bin all set-up the moment you heard your puppy had been born.

2^nd Puppy: You rushed home to set-up following puppy visitation day. T minus 7 days to arrival.

Nth Puppy: No need to set-up, you’re still working up the energy to take it down after the last puppy.

Stryker & Sully - 25th & 26th Puppy

Effects on Preparing for the First Night:

1^st Puppy: You start sleep training weeks before the puppy arrives home. A little mind-over-matter and you’ll be an expert at waking up every 2 hours.

2^nd Puppy: You don’t bother adjusting your sleep schedule. It didn't do squat last time anyway.

Nth Puppy: Piddle Pads and Sleeping Pills are now your best friend.

Brewer - 1st Puppy

Effects on Puppy Toys & Gear:

1^st Puppy: You purchase every recommended toy in your puppy raiser manual and color coordinate all their collars, leashes and vest.

2^nd Puppy: You check to make sure the toys aren't broken and the collars & leashes aren't snagged, then discard only those still hanging on by a thread.

Nth Puppy: Pink looks good on a boy – Right?

Quinn - 23rd Puppy

Effects on your Worries:

1^st Puppy: At the first sign of distress – a whimper, whine or bark – you run to the puppy and soothe them.

2^nd Puppy: You ask nicely for “Quiet” but when all else fails, “Shut-up” is right in your back pocket.

Nth Puppy: You train your older dog how to drape a blanket over the top of the crate.

Praxis - 22nd Puppy

Effect on Treat Giving:

1^st Puppy: If a treat falls on the floor, you put it away in your pocket and toss it in the trash later.

2^nd Puppy: 10 second rule sounds good.

Nth Puppy: Your puppy eats grass, bugs & wood chips anyway, so you’ll just consider it as frosting.

Barron - 11th Puppy

Effect on Housebreaking:

1^st Puppy: You set an alarm and take the puppy out every half hour, whether he needs it or not.

2^nd Puppy: You take the puppy out every 2-3 hours, IF needed.

Nth Puppy: Here’s the door, there’s the lawn…no further explanation required.

Maizy - 19th Puppy

Effect on Training:

1^st Puppy: If there’s a training class offered within 90 miles, you’re there.

2^nd Puppy: You've got the basics down, now it’s time for some competition training.

Nth Puppy: 5 minutes squeezed in while you wait for the water to boil in preparation for making dinner.

Scout - 12th Puppy

Effects on Vacations & Travel:

1^st Puppy: The first time you leave your puppy with a sitter, you send the puppy with a 10 page instruction sheet, every item they own and then you call and email every 12 hours.

2^nd Puppy: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to grab a bag of food, some toys and jot down your contact information.

3^rd Puppy: Ring the doorbell, hand over the leash and inform sitter to only call if they see blood.

Gypsy - 3rd Puppy

Effect on Medical Emergencies:

1^st Puppy: When the puppy swallows stuffing, squeaker, rock, stick, coin, etc., you rush the puppy to the vet and immediately demand an x-ray.

2^nd Puppy: When the puppy swallows stuffing, squeaker, rock, stick, coin, etc., you carefully watch them for a few days waiting for it to pass.

Nth Puppy: You've seen so many things go in one end and out the other, nothing’s really a surprise at this point.

Food Bowl Myth

I've heard rumors of this mecca to which ordinary dogs travel. Most call it a Food Bowl, but to me it is pure myth.

The myth says that food gods descend three times a day and use their magical powers to grow kibble in a shiny silver bowl. If you drool, beg, stare and whine loud enough, the gods will hear you and you shall be fed. I have searched in vain to locate this magical place but it appears I landed in the only house on earth without one! I thought I had discovered it, however, the only thing growing in the shiny silver bowls I found, was water. What a jip!

After nearly a week of unsuccessful attempts to locate the Food Bowl, I consulted my wise mentor, Merit. He nearly fell off his Place laughing so hard - How Rude! When he regained his composure, he informed me that his magic bowl did not arrive until he was eight months old and that even when it did arrive, it only produced a small percentage of his daily rations and the price... even more torturous lessons involving #theskillthatshallnotbenamed {Impulse Control}. How will I ever survive in this crazy place?

You see, my human has this philosophy that if I have to earn my food, then I will work harder and extend more effort toward my training...
I must concede that she is right - Don't tell her I said so. It took me awhile to give into the idea that food isn't free around here, but now that I'm on board, I am learning quickly and picking up many new skills. At only 7 weeks old, I am already staying on my Place with distractions, targeting with my nose & paw, and doing Sits/Downs/Stands and finding Heel position all on a verbal only command - Yep, I rock! I must admit that training has become a lot of fun and I get more excited each day to use my brain to think harder and learn more. As long as I'm hungry, I will always have time for more training, and since I'm a lab I guess that means I get to have this much fun FOREVER!

I can't speak for other dogs and their Food Bowls, but this pup is happy to remain in a place where the Food Bowl is just a MYTH.

1 Days Food to Training Ratio - Merit (L), Trust (R)
*Trust earns hers one piece at a time. Merit works for small handfuls.

Mismark Misfits

Let the puppy proofing begin!

This week the Mismark Misfits (currently a group of one - me, Merit) is adding another member. My puppy raiser just can't seem to resist us 'dirty puppies' so when the opportunity arose to add another mismarked Labrador puppy to the OccuPaws' training program, she couldn't volunteer fast enough.

However, in order to ensure that each of her trainees get ample time and attention, there is only room for two full-time puppies. Unfortunately, this means Praxis will be moving onto another puppy raiser. Given that he is VERY dirty, we have decided to name him an honorary member of the Mismark Misfits. He is welcome back anytime and already has plans to visit when I am away for other training. On the bright side, his new puppy raisers will also be getting a baby puppy soon. This means Praxis will finally get his shot at being a big brother. It's the best job ever! I hope I prepared him well and was a good mentor along the way.

As for me, I wasn't real sure about getting a baby sister. "The Boys" have always ruled this house, making our environment a blur of noise and dirt. But, given my new baby sis is already dirtier than I am, I figure she's probably ok. She is a Black and Tan Labrador, whereas I am a Brindle Labrador. Where I have speckling of tan on my feet, chest, face and butt, she has solid tan markings.

Merit @ 8 wks

New puppy @ 6 wks

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My puppy raiser has always claimed that my extra coloring is what made me extra smart and extra special.

BUT, my new sister has more color.

Does that mean she'll be more smart and more special??

I think I'm going to need to step up my game. Bring it on little sis!

Surgery

Sometimes as puppy raisers we are called upon to perform duties and make tough decisions beyond the scope of raising and training. Today was a particularly difficult day, as two cherished members of our household underwent surgery.

Having brandished a needle and thread back in middle school for Home Economics, I was deemed the reigning "Expert" and assigned the role of lead surgeon. A duty I did not relish.

The first patient on my table was Moose. He is best buddy and bunk-mate to Praxis. However, a minor head/antler wound put him out of commission several days ago. Moose's surgery was quick and relatively painless - for me at least, Moose didn't say much.
My second patient was Gator. Gator is widely known across the country as 'Merit's baby'. He has traveled to many dog shows and racked up enough air miles to circle the globe. However, nearly a year's worth of loving left Gator with a gaping hole in his rear-end. Gator is no stranger to the operating table, having received his first surgery following a pee incident and a perilous trip through the washing machine which left him in dire need of back surgery. After twenty minutes and a few choice words, the tough decision was made to amputate Gator's tail. This required several cosmetic surgeries and Gator will never look the same again.

Both boys anxiously sat in the waiting room (laundry room) desperate to find out if their friends would survive. Proof of life came after the wash cycle where both Moose & Gator remained intact, but only those who emerged from the dryer in one piece would be returned to their partner.

When it comes to raising puppies, there is no such thing as an uneventful day....

Praxis and Merit are happy to report that they have been reunited with Moose and Gator.

Let's hope they all remain in one piece from this day forward!

Service Dog or Pet?

It is inevitable that every day when one of our trainees goes to work, we will encounter someone who wants to tell us about how their pet dog should/would be a wonderful service dog. They usually say something to the effect that their dog is so well-mannered, loves people, was so easy to train, etc. The reality is that even with two years of intensive training, careful puppy selection and overflowing support and resources, maybe if we’re lucky, 1 out of every 3 dogs will become a guide dog. Another may be suitable for a different working career (service dog, assistance & mobility, hearing alert, diabetic alert, etc.) and the third will become a phenomenal pet.

While almost any pet dog has a quality or even a few that would make them a good service dog, the high standards of service work demand that the dog possess every one of the following criteria:

·        Adaptability – While many pet dogs thrive under their daily routine, service dogs are the adventurers, the ones always living on the edge. In a single day they might be expected to navigate crowds, lay quietly in a café, travel through city traffic, or board a plane and spend a few days living and working in an entirely different environment. Anything goes and they have to be ready to handle it all.

·        Confined Spaces – By some miracle an 85 lb Labrador can cram his entire body under the seat of an airplane, under a desk chair, on the floor in front of your car seat and absolutely love it. Claustrophobia and personal space are terms completely foreign to a service dog.

·        Dog Distractions – A service dog must be friendly around other dogs, however, their desire for playtime cannot override the task at hand. A service dog is so focused on their job that lying under a diner table with four other puppies is just another lunch meeting.

·        Drive – Lazy and Crazy dogs don’t make good service dogs. A service dog needs to have a desire to work for their partner. They must be able to transition for sleeping to assisting and back to sleeping at a moment’s notice. There’s no vacation days, no half-a**ing and no “I’ll do that later”. Every task requires their full effort and attention both for the safety of their partner and themselves.

·        Health – Everything from allergies to dysplasia can prevent a dog from being physically sound enough to become a service dog. Supporting your human partner 24/7 places rigorous demands on the health of a dog. Something as simple as eating, sleeping and pottying can be done at different times and lengths on any given day. Retrieving, bracing and traversing a multitude of terrains requires a true canine athlete.

·        Leash Manners – No matter what temptations and distractions arise a service dog must maintain a loose leash at all times. No prong collars, chain collars or other walking aids allowed. Impulse control is an absolute necessity.

·        Loud Noises – Clapping, Screaming, Sirens, Horns: If it makes noise, regardless of how loud or annoying, a service dog has to tolerate it.

·        Memory – Depending upon their partner’s individual needs, service dogs are expected to learn anywhere from 50-300 commands. With so many things to learn and not enough time to practice everything, every day, these dogs must rely on their superb memories. Sometimes months go by between performing a particular command, but when their partner asks them to assist with something, they’re expected to remember how.

·        Petting – A service dog must sit quietly to be petted. Being surrounded by a large crowd of people touching them anywhere on their body cannot scare or excite a service dog. Backing away and jumping up are not permitted behaviors.

·        Quick Recovery – Our goal as puppy raisers is to raise a “bomb-proof” dog i.e. a dog that can go-anywhere without being phased, stressed or startled. The reality is that every dog will startle at something. So the measure of a service dog is not IF they startle but rather their ability to quickly recover and resume working as if nothing ever happened.

·        Strange Surfaces – Carpet, Wood, Metal, Wet, Sticky, Pokey, Unstable: Regardless of the surface type or texture a service dog must cross it in order to get their partner to their destination.

·        Stranger Danger (NOT) – No matter who you are, what you look like, or under what circumstances you met, a service dog does not know a stranger. They are comfortable and friendly around anyone.

It’s true that your pet dog probably possesses some of the qualities listed above. Why not? They’re a great dog. However, to be a service dog, they need to possess them ALL!

What about the dogs who possess everything on this list and are still dropped from the program? A service dog is both born and trained. With every positive experience and exposure our hope that these dogs learn to love their job not just tolerate the day-to-day grind. But, the reality is that some dogs would just be happier doing something else. It’s disappointing, but no one wants to see a dog live an unhappy and unfulfilling life.

For those dogs who excel in all these areas and love their work, there is nothing that will stand in their way from a perfect partnership!

Happy Mother's Day

Once a year, on Mother's Day, we take time out of our daily lives to recognize the hard work and dedication put forth by our puppy raiser moms. In our eyes, they are moms in every way that counts.
As our puppy raiser mom, you see us through our toddler stage of fits, temper tantrums, and back talking as we learn to explore and gain independence. You count to three every time we are naughty even though neither of us knows what is supposed to happen after two. You carry a large bag filled with toys, clean-up supplies and treats despite the fact that it will never be fashionable to do so. You teach us all about proper nutrition: no vegetables (grass), no high fiber (sticks) and no hard candy (rocks) or we'll break our teeth. You laugh at our crazy antics and complete lack of coordination, but when it really counts you are there to fix bumps & scraps, aching ears, and sore gums.
As adolescents you introduce us to our first friends and keep us safe from bullies. You take us to school and complete our homework with us, as if it were your own. You teach us right from wrong and never lose your patience even when we forget which is which. You take us everywhere with you so that we can learn as much as possible about the world and even at the end of the night after we have run you completely ragged you still watch us sleep and find us to be so cute and irresistible you can't wait to do it all over again the next day.
You weather our teenage rebellion with as much grace as possible and when that fails you, we learn the true meaning of Crate Training. Even as our appetites grow bigger, our messes larger and we somehow manage to forget everything you've ever taught us, you never waiver from your conviction that we will someday change someone's life.
When we celebrate our first birthday you throw us a huge party knowing that this will be the only birthday we share. While we gobble our cake in one bite you boldly look to the future and the last milestone we will cross together: college.
On the days leading up to our departure, you cry and say your good-byes. We don't understand why you are so sad but you have made us strong so we support you and in that moment when we lend a paw and look up at you with our soft, sweet brown eyes we both realize that we're ready to be apart. Because of the sacrifices you've made and the selflessness you've displayed, we are prepared and confident enough to choose our own path in life.

Thank you, Mom!

Happy Mother's Day to ALL our Puppy Raiser Moms!

Love,
Merit & Praxis

Letter Home

Dear Mom and Praxis,

It has been three weeks since I left on rotation to my breeder. I am sorry it has taken me so long to write you, but to be fair you only taught me to read and forgot all about the writing part. I will bring you up to date on what has been happening in my life, but I think you’d better sit down first.

I’m doing pretty well now. The broken leg and concussion I sustained after jumping out the car window to chase a squirrel has pretty much healed. I only spent a weekend at the vet and now I can almost walk in a straight line again and I only see birds flying in circles a few times a day. Fortunately, my mad dash was witnessed by a cute blonde who is twice my age. She thinks I'm a stud and has been licking my wounds like a perfect nurse. She even invited me home to sleep in the crate next to her. She is a gorgeous girl, but so are all the women here. Is it weird that I love them and yet I’m related to most of them? Yesterday, I asked her to marry me but she said it was just puppy love. At least I tried to make an honest woman of her before she starts to show. Her last mate lives out on the porch and might be the real father or maybe it's this other stud I met out in the yard today. Anyway, it doesn't really matter since she plans to sell all the children, just like she did with her last 20. Sorry Prax, I know you would've loved being an Uncle.

Now that I've brought you up to speed, I want to tell you that there was no squirrel, I did not break my leg, I was not at the vet, and I’m not going to be a father (although fingers crossed there will be puppies here soon). However, there are several stunning temptresses here who are driving my teenage boy hormones crazy and rendering me a howling fool - literally. I just wanted you to see this indiscretion with the proper perspective and understand that a guy can only take so much rejection, so… SURPRISE I’ll be waiting on your doorstep come Monday.

Oh yeah and with all that other guide dog stuff that doesn't have to do with girls, I've been a very good boy.

Love,

Merit

Goodbye Big Bro

To my big brother, Merit:

We haven’t known each other very long but I want you to know that I will always remember you.

I've watched you a lot over this past month and the more I've gotten to know you, the more I aspire to become just like you some day.

I am so proud to be your little brother.

All of the good choices you make and how attentive you are makes me believe in the enormous impact one puppy can have on someone's life.

So many things go on around you every day, but you never get dragged in. Instead, you focus on your job and take pride in your achievements.

When put to the test, you rise to the occasion and never back down from a challenge.

I am so proud to be your little brother.

I know that you have an important role in life.

You were born with a destiny and every day you hold your head high and work your hardest to make sure everyone knows why you’re here.

You have a gift to change lives and I can only imagine the wonderful ways you will learn to use it.

I am so proud to be your little brother.

Some dogs discover their purpose early on while others wander aimlessly for years, but I know in my heart, soul and mind that you have found yours.

I am so proud to be your little brother.

Hold onto what you know, because losing it is not allowed.

As you leave me, I know you will be fine. This will never be my worry.

While people tell me that someday, I’m going to be somebody, I already know you are someone.

I am so proud to be your little brother.

We both have so much more to learn and I am sad that you must leave me in order to help you be better for your future partner.

Promise me that you will keep your eyes open and not let anything pass you by.

You are a great dog and will continue to grow greater, as long as you continue to try.

I am so proud to be your little brother.

I love you, Merit.

If I could be just like you, I wouldn't mind one bit.

I am so proud to be your little brother.

As you go off to a new home, you will do wonderful. This everyone knows.

Don’t look back, just remember – I am so proud to be your little brother.

Love,

Praxis

PS – Please don’t come back too soon. I think I’m really going to enjoy being the favorite around here. ;)

Puppy 1.0 Programming

Dear Tech Support,

How Praxis feels about Sit-Stays

I recently changed software from GuideDogTrainee 15.0 to Puppy 1.0 and I noticed that the new program has begun making several shocking changes to the training software. It is severely limiting access to COME, DOWN, and HEEL applications which operated flawlessly under GuideDogTrainee 15.0. In addition, Puppy 1.0 has uninstalled many other valuable programs such as Housebreaking 8.5, QuietInTheCrate 3.7, and GentleMouth 7.2. It has instead installed new, undesirable programs such as LeashBiting 1.4, TableLegChewing 5.9, and WiggleButt 9.3. Stay 7.0 no longer runs and invariably crashes the system. Under no circumstance will it run LeaveIt 12.1 or Focus 14.6. I have tried using Clicker 6.7 to fix Puppy 1.0, but this all-purpose utility has been slow to download.

Please help me!!!

- Puppy Raiser

_________________________________________________

Dear Puppy Raiser,

This is a very common complaint received by our department. Many people change from GuideDogTrainee 15.0 to Puppy 1.0, because Puppy 1.0 is designed with cute packaging specifically to suck you in. However, they don't realize Puppy 1.0 is an entirely different operating system.

Any new program files can only be installed once per day, as Puppy 1.0 has severely limited power before automatically reverting to Sleep Mode. Error messages are common and a normal part of Puppy 1.0. We recommend you keep Puppy 1.0 and just learn the quirks of this strange and illogical system.

I also want to make clear that Puppy 1.0 is NOT responsible for ANY faults and problems regardless of the root cause. To deactivate this feature enter the command “C:\I SWEAR I NEVER TRAINED HIM TO DO THAT.” Sometimes MagicTreatPocket 2.6 must be run simultaneously while entering the command. Puppy 1.0 should then run the applications HeadTilt 13.2 and SadPuppyEyes 8.1.

Just remember, Puppy 1.0 is a great program, but it cannot install new applications without repeat downloading. Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend HotDog 3.0, Liver 2.4, Patience 1010.1 and a bottle of aspirin (for you not the program). Used in conjunction, these utilities can really help keep Puppy 1.0 running smoothly.

After several months of use, Puppy 1.0 will become quite a package and you will find many valuable embedded features such as RetrievesThings 2.3, Settle 4.5 and BestFriend 6.8.

I hope these notes have helped. Thank you for choosing to install Puppy 1.0. Those of us here at Tech Support wish you the best of luck over the next year. We trust that you will code this product until it is fully operational and enjoyable!

Adapted from Guy & Will's Humour