Sunday, December 16, 2012

Dear Santa,


I have been a very good puppy this year. I know this because my puppy raiser tells me all the time, especially when I go potty outside or when I walk nicely on my leash. If I was naughty, I couldn't help it; my human is naughty sometimes too and I still love her. Sometimes we pups just can’t help getting into a little trouble.

Do you remember that tiny blue fuzz ball that greeted you when you dropped off presents last year? Well it turns out, that kittens are cute and fluffy when you get them. However, before you know it, they grow up and turn on you.

I’m not asking for bones or extra food this year. What I would really like is when you come to drop off presents for my puppy raiser, put the cat in your sack and take him back with you. PLEASE!

He is so mean! He hisses at me all the time when I stick my nose in his butt. This tricks my puppy raiser into thinking I’m the one being naughty. I’m just trying to make a friend. Once, I bowed to him (To play, NOT because I worship at his feet) and he smacked me right across the nose. What other choice did I have than to try and grab his poufy tail? My efforts at friendship earned me crate time. Don’t get me wrong, I love my crate, but the cat laid right in front of the door and mocked me the entire time. It was humiliating!

He also frames me for crimes. Daily, he steals his human’s socks and drags them around the house. Once, he left one by me and I got blamed! He also chewed through the new bag of dog food and some spilled out onto the floor. I didn't want my puppy raiser to deal with mice – we all know that lazy cat wouldn't dare lift a paw to catch one – so I merely ate the food in an effort to keep my home rodent free. Did my humans thank me? No. I earned several long, torturous lessons on Leave It. He also hides and when I least expect it, he jumps out from his hiding spot and scares the life out of me.

Clearly, Santa, The Cat Has To Go!

Wags and Licks,
Merit

PS - If I wake up Christmas morning and that cat is still here, you’ll have to deal with me – and I’m no small dude anymore, I’m almost 50 lbs! You may have giant reindeer with huge antlers protecting you, but I chew on antlers for desert and I eat venison for breakfast, lunch and dinner – so watch out!