Dear Water Hose,

First, I would just like to say that I respect your many powers, but after today's incidences I now must consider you an enemy.  Your actions against me have only been matched by the likes of the vacuum and the hair dryer.  No matter how fast I chase you or how hard I bite your stream of water, you just keep spraying and spraying.  My continued efforts to thwart you have only resulted in my leash becoming tangled with you. For this I receive a combination of sighs and eye rolls from Kelsey.  She seriously underestimates your powers.  While I have tried to avoid you, other members of your kind insist on attacking me during my evening walks around the neighborhood.  On my own, I could run around you but Kelsey's slow, even pace leaves both of us vulnerable to attack.  Why she insists on walking in straight lines, I have no idea.

I must warn you that our dealings together are not finished.  One day I will bite your stream of water in just the right spot that you will never spray again.  Until that day, I vow to keep every garden, lawn, and potted plant safe from your brutal assaults.

Your worst nightmare,
- Scout -