Things My Human Always Says

Insight from Merit on the things his puppy raiser says.

You need another bone like I need a hole in my head.

I always think this means I don’t need another new bone, but my human always says this right before she buys a new bone, so I don’t know?? My Human is confusing!

You need to find a different playmate. The kitty doesn't want to wrestle with you.

When I don’t play with the kitty, he sits on the sofa and bops me on the head and then my human scolds him. But you know what? Kitties make great wrestling buddies, minus the spitting in your face part. My Human doesn't know everything!

Guess who’s going to _____ today?

My human loves to play this game, “guess where we’re going…” and she calls me at all hours to play. I never win anything and she never gets tired of it. My Human is a lot of work!

You are way too much like Scout.

My human usually says this when I’m chasing my tail or flopping over for endless belly rubs, so I think she means it’s a bad thing. But I always take it as a compliment; have you seen what a smart, handsome boy he is? My Human needs to have more fun!

The food bowl is empty and food isn't going to magically grow in it.

It always, always fills back up. Always. I just have to stare at it long enough. My Human should be more optimistic!

I could never say “No” to you.

Really…because I just tried to eat that dead worm off the sidewalk and I’m pretty sure something similar came out of your mouth… My Human has a bad memory!

Get that puppy tongue away from me.

My human has a love/hate relationship with my puppy tongue. She loves my kisses sooo much that she can never, ever get them. Because she can only accept them in quantities large enough to give her an entire bath; at least that’s my version of the story. My Human needs to learn moderation!

I cleaned up after you and it took all day.

It seems like my human is always cleaning up after me. And she is the only human I know who has all day to do it. Sometimes I think it’d be fun to follow her around all day, just to leave a trail of dog hair and toys behind everywhere she just picked up. My Human is very dramatic!

You’re too cute.

I’m always like, duh. Then I’m like, wait!, you’re just saying that because all humans start to look like their dogs eventually. My Human thinks a lot of herself!

Pantsing

Yesterday, I discovered a really fun new game! Kelsey's little brother brought over a few new friends for me to play with. They're my favorite kind; smelly football boys! I was so happy to meet them, I ran up and wiggled against the first boy's legs. Yet, the more I wiggled, the more this thing kept waving in my face. It just kept teasing me, so I grabbed and pulled. Suddenly, all the humans were laughing really hard. I don't know why but I was having so much fun that I moved on to the next smelly boy. Except, he had the same thing waving in my face. So of course, I reached up and pulled. Except his pants were smarter - they pulled back! What fun - a new game! I was just about to pull super hard when Kelsey picked me up and took my new toy away. Meanie.
I was sad all night that I'd lost my toy, but I shouldn't have worried. That night, when Kelsey's brother came home, he brought the toy with. So of course I ran up and pulled. Success!
Having decided that my walking around pantsing the public was probably not a good idea, Kelsey invented a new game for me. She hung a pair of pants off the door, I pulled really hard and BAM! the door opened. Instead of getting in trouble this time, I got a treat! This is awesome! The next time I went to the door, the pants were too high for me to reach, but this other rope was hanging down, so I grabbed that and pulled really hard and BAM! the door opened AND I got lots and lots of treats. This is so cool!
Now every time we leave our bedroom, I have to open the door for Kelsey. What a perfect little gentleman I am. Although, until I overcome my affinity for pants I may have to wear a warning sign.

WARNING: Only those with securely belted pants need approach

Cold Stone!

Join us for a fun night. I am so sure that you will "Like It" that you may even "Love It" enough to say you "Gotta Have It".

Rodeo Howie

Rodeo Howie tasting a hotdog

Patti...one big chew toy

Deer antlers are great and all...but THIS is what I call a chew toy.