Where Oh Where...

... has my little dog gone?

I recently received my notice and I've been shipped off to the big house. I may be mixing my metaphors here a bit but the point remains, I've gone to the guide dog instructor's home for evaluation.  Kelsey wished me luck before sending me off, knowing full well I'd do what I do best.... ;) ....which is for me to know and you to wait and find out.

Apparently back home, my little humans are missing me terribly.  My littlest human (2 yrs) walks around the house repeating "No puppy, no puppy, no puppy."  He's looked for me behind every door and under every bed, but no luck.  My other little human (3 yrs) keeps asking Kelsey "Where's my Scout?"  She tells him that I'm at school learning lots of new things.  This is apparently an unsatisfactory answer as he responds, "My Scout wants to come home!"  I even gave Kelsey a bit of a scare when the guide dog instructor called her after I had been gone for less than 24 hrs, but no worries it was for an unrelated matter.  Whew!

My adventures here are top secret, so all I can tell you is I haven't burned down the house...yet...

Love and Kisses,

- Your pint-sized chocolate cuddle bear (Scout)

Remains

Herein lays all that remains of Scout....

or at least what of him has not been stolen for bird's nest, blown away in the wind or taken by vengeful squirrels.  Honestly, I only set out to tidy him up for tomorrow's event but as he fell asleep and I got sucked into 'The Big Bang Theory' marathon...well what can I say other than, Gotta Love a Lab in the Spring Time!

The Facts of Life

After a long 11 month on Earth, here are The Facts of Life that I, Scout, have amassed:

1. If you stare at someone long enough, eventually you will get what you want.  Humans try to convince themselves that they've trained you to 'Focus' but in reality we [dogs] have trained them to be effective treat dispensers.

2. Never leave the house without your vest and a poop bag.  Yes, the two are synonymous and No, I couldn't have gone at home when you asked me 5 minutes ago.

....you will do as I say....

3. Always be upfront and direct with humans; let them know precisely how you feel by covering them in dog hair and slobbering on their pants in just the right spot.

4. Know exactly when to hold your tongue and when to use it to your full advantage.  Sometimes a little goes a long way.

5. Don't forget to make time every day for a good nap.  A full schedule consists of Eat, Sleep, Play, Poop: repeat, repeat, repeat.

6. Treat everyone, including strangers, like they are your best friend.  A wiggly butt is your greatest asset but beware, because attached is your most dangerous attraction.

7. When you do something wrong, it is important to always take responsibility.  However, it doesn't hurt to first blame the cat.

8. True love is only a butt sniff away.  Of course this is inappropriate guide dog behavior so I wouldn't know anything about finding 'the one.'

9. If it's not wet, sloppy and in your ear, it's not a real kiss.

10. Choose a career with intrinsic rewards.  It's so important to do what you love, which is why I plan to spend the rest of my life helping humans in any way I can.  

Always Lost

When I moved in with Kelsey, I figured she would provide me with a good home, proper guidance, and teach me some new things.  However, I didn't realize there was a third person in our relationship.  Kelsey trains me and a strange man with an accent whom I've never seen trains Kelsey.  He takes Kelsey everywhere, just like she takes me.  He tells her to turn left or right, speed up or slow down, just like Kelsey tells me.  Unfortunately there is one command Kelsey can't seem to master, "RECALCULATING!"  I know this because he frequently says the command over and over and over again.  I feel sorry for the poor guy, so I've decided to step up and help Kelsey so that she isn't always lost.  Therefore, I had my first lesson tonight on "FIND."

Since it was just my first lesson, all I had to do was touch the post-it note with my nose to get a tasty treat.  Easy enough.  Nope!  For my first few attempts, I did a sit and a down and a heel but none earned me a tasty treat.  Next, I tried a wait but that only turned into a staring contest and did not result in a treat.  Fed up with waiting, I grabbed the post-it note and tried to eat it; treat for the touch part, hand down my throat for the eating part.  Finally, my brain kicked in and I grasped the concept...Check out the video to see me in action.

My hope is that someday I will be able to find all of the things my blind partner can't; this includes doors, stairs, elevators, empty chairs, tables, shopping carts, bus stops and much more.  But for now, I'll stick close to Kelsey because she might lose her head if I'm not there to find it or worse yet, my treat bag!!